OMG I would totally follow, and read, all of your quality Tweets. I’d be quite likely to engage with your company in an authentic manner through your “Automated Social Marketing” as well!

… all you need do is peruse the Craigslist “gigs” section, where you’ll find “writing” “jobs”. I use quotation marks to indicate I’m being “sarcastic”. Of course, you all already know that I don’t consider unpaid labor and use of one’s time to be “work”, a “job” or a “gig”. That’s called volunteering, or if you’re being charitable and your target audience is actually students, an internship. In any case, in the Craigslist writing and gigs sections, you can find gems like this one: 

“1 -Rewrite one of our existing articles in your own words (500 words) $3
2- Rewrite an existing blog articles in your own words, adorn it with pictures and make it shine $4
3- Write original article on an accessory for iphone/ipad 500 words $6 see blog.gleemobile.com
4- Write a blog on accessory for iphone/ipad with pictures, videos, and other reader magnets. $8”

Wait, wait, so you’re saying that all I have to do in order to become a writer is “rewrite” some articles? Why didn’t I know that in high school? I never would have had to go to college or write my own papers! Judging by recent student work I’ve seen and heard about – “adorning it with pictures and making it shine” may be to distract from the factual and spelling errors just as much as to divert attention from the directly-lifted-from-Wikipedia content, but that’s another story. My favorite part of this ad is that it notes you can “work from the beach :)” – I’m assuming that at a pay rate of $3, they mean the beach down by the river behind my van. I would totally jump on this “opportunity” if I actually used or owned any iPads or iPhones or cared about stealing some iStockPhoto images for my article because they are “reader magnets”.

One of the AWESOME  stock photos accompanying one of the “blog” postings. I don’t know what the Yin-Yang is for but I’m assuming it is for an awesome 90’s-themed app where you can listen to Dave Matthews while designing a new sculpey bead for your hemp necklace.

I don’t even want to know why they are willing to pay (sort of) for you to rewrite their existing articles – I’m sure it has something to with perpetuating their crap in search engines and making it seem like they have more content – but please, for the love of all that is holy, stop calling it writing! Oh, and if you’re looking for an actual job or paid gig, I think it is time to invent some new terminology because the fellowship-assistantship-prestigious internship-unpaid opportunity people have taken over “job” and “work” as their own.